no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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