I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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