i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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