Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
