Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
How's work?
Spinning.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Bring me that man meat
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
