D3 body, D1 cock
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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