I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
