there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
