Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
