Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
