two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
