wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
