Your dad touched me again.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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