it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
