Is it because I queefed?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
