don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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