Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
