Sry I called you an 8
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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