i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
