why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
