I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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