we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
