Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
should my penis look like a turkey
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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