I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
