I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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