i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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