your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
