My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The power of my boobs compel you
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
