i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
