Have you finally orgasmed yet?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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