Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
