I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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