Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
