the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
