So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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