That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Your penis caused this!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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