Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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