I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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