I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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