so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
