He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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