he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
