yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
