im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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