reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
where does the pee come out of this thing
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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