She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
