I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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