found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
