i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
