you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
