I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
