i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
