She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
